KEEPING THE FAITH: FORGIVENESS

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) says this: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but beautiful, unfortunately, is not synonymous with simple.  Let us pretend for a moment that someone did something really terrible to you, and it hurt you badly. Regardless of if you decide to keep or discontinue the friendship the responsibility of forgiveness remains present.

Well, why should I forgive them? What if they aren't even sorry? What they did really hurt me. These are all popular and very valid questions, but I want to focus on the first one.

I may not understand your specific situation involving forgiveness, but I do know that it can be very difficult to forgive. Sometimes it feels like forgiving them is giving them a get-out-of-jail-free card, or giving them license to do whatever it is they did, again. But that is not what forgiveness is.

My man Webster describes forgiveness as this: "to give up resentment against or the desire to punish another." So really, forgiveness helps you. Unless, of course, you enjoy carrying around the burden of resentment. I certainly do not.

There are two things I want you to remember when you are considering forgiving someone. The first is to remember that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, acts under clouded judgment, even plain doesn't think, at times. I, for one, am guilty of all of these acts in many different occasions. More occasions than I care to think about. But, since no one is perfect, it would be unfair to hold people to a standard of perfection (i.e. never doing anything wrong, ever).

The second thing I want you to remember appears at the very end of verse 32 (listed above). "As in Christ God forgave you." Odds are if you add up all the things you've done that have been less than good, right, fair, just etc. and weigh them against this wrong-doing of another, yours might outweigh theirs. But Christ forgives you for every single little thing you've ever done, when you ask him to. Just like that. Shouldn't you at least do the same for this person who hurt you? God forgave you of all of it so it seems it is the least we can do to follow His command to forgive.

But maybe this thing that happened to you seems unforgiveable. Far heavier than anything you've ever done to anyone else. No comparison, perhaps. Maybe that is true. I don't want to minimize or disregard any hurt that you've been through. As previously mentioned, it is quite likely that I wouldn't understand how it feels to be in your shoes.

But I know this: God would forgive them. I challenge you to be Christ-like.  Not for the person who hurt you. Not to get them off the hook, or make them believe they can treat you in such a way again, nothing like that. Do this for yourself and for God.  A little thank you for not holding you to all times you were less than perfect. If this sounds hard, check out Philippians 4:13.