Keeping the Faith: Anger

"In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

Ephesians 4:26

Anger has considerable stigma attached to it.

Some people seem to believe that anger is an emotion we shouldn't feel. And if we do feel it, we should certainly hide it.

Now wait a minute. Anger was created by God just like all other emotions. It isn't inherently a negative thing. Even God gets angry (in Exodus, among other places). It's a natural thing.

However, the way in which we express or react to our anger can be problematic. When I was in third grade, Chase, who could be classified as the class bully—or the class klepto—stole my best friend Ashley's smiley face pencil. Not because he wanted the pencil, but because he was ornery.

When she discovered it was Chase who stole her beloved pencil, she marched over to his desk, retrieved the pencil and punched him so hard in the arm it knocked him over.

Ashley was angry that someone had stolen her favorite pencil. This is acceptable. But in her anger, she hit Chase, the pencil snatcher. This is unacceptable.

It isn't the anger, but the reaction (be it negative) that deserves the stigma.  It can be very difficult to regulate our reactions, especially in the heat of the moment. I encourage practice, though, as generally, we get better with practice.

It does not say, "do not be angry" in Ephesians, or anything else that would imply anger is something we shouldn't feel. On the contrary, it says, "In your anger, do not sin." This verse acknowledges that anger happens. The warning here is to not sin.

Anger doesn't force us to sin, but it makes it easier.  When people are wronged, they feel inclined to "even the score" or return the wrong, so to speak.

While this may be the first reaction, I encourage you not to do so. Not only does it further hurt the relationship, but it's effortful. Don't waste your time brooding and plotting. Moving on is much less taxing.

This verse also says "do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." This part is important to remember and is more difficult for some, myself included.

When I am angry, I tend to be that way for a while. In his book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom says this about anger: "Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade—and the harm we do, we do to ourselves." 

Plus, it seems silly in the grand scheme to waste time being angry at someone or about something when being happy is much more fun.