Critic not “Glee”ful over hit show’s second season

New Directions should have won Regionals.

If they had won, reaching their ultimate plot goal, Glee could have gone to rest peacefully amongst the other short-lived television greats. And it would have saved viewers from this terrible second season we're being subjected to.

Unfortunately, Executive Producer Ryan Murphy plunged forward into season two, producing episodes of a once-beloved show that now has been hit with the ultimate low: I deleted it from my Hulu subscriptions.

Season two opened with an entirely unmemorable episode – "Auditions" – where the group seeks new members. So this could be basically any episode from the first season of Glee.

Next came the long awaited "Britney/Brittany" episode, which was the product of a Facebook campaign by Gleeks apparently confused about the meaning of real music.

This forty-five minute episode was an awkward mash-up of music videos, giving each character an opportunity to cover a Spears song that had nothing to do with their life or the show's plot.

Cheerio Brittany redeemed her namesake episode slightly by slipping in the most random one-liners imaginable.

"Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs," and "I don't brush my teeth. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist," are actual lines from this episode.

I only finished watching the Brittany episode because my often sporadic brain relates to Brittany's somewhat off-topic thought patterns – although I like to think I know a bit more about personal hygiene.

Hoping Brittany would entertain me a bit longer, I stuck with season two through "Grilled Cheesus," only to be disappointed again by the show's lack of plot development. Kirk's father fell ill and healed in a miraculous amount of time. Maybe with thanks due to Finn's ridiculous, trashy sandwich deity.

"Grilled Cheesus" almost broke the monotony of season two when the characters developed a religious tension. But Mercedes being a devout Christian and Kurt being an atheist, who could be shocked by that stereotyping? And the resolution at the end of the episode was something I could have predicted within the first five minutes of the show.

By this point in the season, I was ready to be done with Glee, but Murphy drew me in with the irresistible force of those sweet transvestites from transsexual Transylvania and "The Rocky Horror Glee Show."

Not only does Murphy owe me an hour of my life back for watching "The Rocky Horror Glee Show", he owes Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf a public apology for ruining their classic film in his feeble attempt to pay it homage.