Senior Augieholics leader bids farewell to Viking athletics

I believe that in 1,000 years, an archaeologist researching the history of Augustana will excavate the exact location of the currently barren ground to the east of the Lookout House on the corner of 28th and Summit.

The artifacts he or she will find will, among other things, be primarily dominated by the remnants of 40 mm. white plastic balls, 16-gallon steel barrels and large traces of ethanol derived from the fermentation of barley.

However, what the archaeologist will not find may be the most important in piecing together the history of Augustana. It was here in 2004, in the location of the recently demolished White House, that the Augieholics were born.

Both of my predecessors of graduated Augieholics presidents, Andy Rhode (''The Godfather'' '06) and Bob Goodwyn (2008 graduate), have written a Mirror sign-off, and although I feel that if we were casting for Saved By the Bell, I would be Screech and they'd be A.C. and Zack, I figured I should do the same.

It's tradition, and Augieholics should try their darnedest not to mess with tradition. With this, I wrote these words.

I believe from birth until now, Augieholics has become increasingly less controversial, but should always hold on to a smidgen of a shady reputation while modeling the Augustana core value of community.

I believe that, unofficially, more than 1,700 Augieholics T-shirts have been sold. Rumored owners of the shirt are President Rob Oliver and his family, Homecoming King David Foster, former Northern State head coach Don Meyer, pop singer Ke$ha and Buddha.
I believe that having your personal bubble invaded by your fellow classmates at a basketball game, wheezing because you've been yelling at the Ivan Drago look-alike on the court, or having boogers frozen to your face while standing in the bleachers of Kireby-Over stadium in November, are religious experiences and should be missed by no one.

I believe that after this school year, senior wide receiver Eric Ellingworth will finally be the best current athlete at Augustana from Redwood Falls, Minn.

I believe that women's basketball player Molly Hayes will be, hands down, the best fifth-year junior in the country next year.

I believe that football and men and women's basketball are very much deserving of the attention of the Augieholics, but certainly not all of it.

I believe an on-campus track and field complex and improvements to the baseball and softball fields will complete a collegiate sports atmosphere second to none.

I believe that Augieholics in the Elmen provide the best home-court advantage in all of Division II, and that everyone should experience an Augieholics bus trip.

I believe the beautiful Kirkeby-Over Stadium not only helps bring in terrific recruits to Augustana, but also terrific students.

I believe the Augieholics organization not only helps bring in terrific recruits to Augustana, but also terrific students.

I believe the success of the football team will not skip a beat with new head coach Mike Aldrich.

I believe the cougar statue on University of Sioux Fall's campus would look better without a tail.

I believe that next year the Augieholics will be better than ever before.

I believe that the wrestling team, for how good it is, doesn't get the attention it deserves.

I believe volleyball is the most underrated spectator sport, and the three-hit cheers need to come back big time next year.

I believe that if you are not having fun in college, listen to the late Michael Jackson and ''take a look at yourself and make that change.''

I believe that every Augustana student has a genetically inherited trait for Augieholism, and although it may be a too often-used cliché… it is always a great day to be a Viking!