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Parents across the nation have mixed feelings about daycares. Terrified of illness and bad influences, some are concerned about the outcome of their child, their biggest concern being the nurturing – or lack thereof – their child receives. The result: one stay-at-home parent, one working parent.
This is not the solution.
According to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a nationally recognized radio talk-show host and bestselling author of 15 books (four of which are children's books), daycares are bad for a child "because daycares don't care about or love your child like you do."
"Children evolve each and every day… and those minutes need to be influenced by and experienced with the people who matter the most," she says.
Of course daycares don't care for a child like a parent does – they're not the parent. This doesn't mean a parent needs to be with the child at all times for them to feel and understand love. Plus, a minute-by-minute influence is a bit overwhelming – the kid needs breathing room.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) states that "many children, particularly after the age of three, benefit from good, group daycare, where they can have fun and learn how to interact with others."
Children must be put in situations in which they are forced to interact with people apart from their family. On their own, they must learn how to make friends, talk to others respectfully and appropriately and share. Both a stay-at-home parent and working parent can teach their child these aspects as well, but it's important for children to learn and self-teach themselves these qualities.
The National Child Care Information and Technical Assistance Center (NCCIC), a part of the Child Care Bureau, states that in South Dakota, 74 percent of children under the age of six have full-time working parents, along with almost 80 percent of children ages six to 17. Not only do parents in South Dakota choose daycares, but a significant majority of parents need daycares.
Finding time to raise a child can be difficult, but it's not impossible. Most adults work a 9a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-through Friday job, so parents raise their children during the mornings, evenings and weekends. That makes it difficult for a parent to have "me time," but that's what being a parent is.
A child is put in daycare so parents can provide income for the family. If parents are doing their parenting jobs properly, by raising the child outside of work, the child can easily distinguish the difference between daycare caretaker and parent.
The presence of one constant parent at home could actually be bad for the child. If a child's dad is gone every day, working, and only the mother is at home to raise the child, then the dad's role becomes lost. A child will grow up feeling distant from their father and too attached to their mother.
One parent shouldn't have to give up his or her career while their spouse continues to work. Who decides who stays home and who goes to work? If one has a desire to be a stay-at-home parent, then all the power to that mother or father. But those on the fence with the topic need not worry – honestly, daycares are not going to hinder the parent/child relationship.
Put yourself in this scenario: You paid your way through college and spent four gruesome years working toward a degree for the sole purpose to have your desired career. Ten years later, you find yourself making a replica of Martha Stewart's perfect potpourri arrangement during your three-year-old daughter's nap. You shouldn't have to jeopardize your college degree and right to have a career because you fear your kids will somehow be brought up improperly by a daycare.
It's important to remember to find balance. A parent should not be overbearing, but also not neglectful. Being a parent is always a full-time job, regardless if one is constantly at home with the child or not. A child can be nurtured and loved properly even if both parents work.
Fearing daycares and the upbringing of a child is not necessary if there is a significant effort to want to raise a child.
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